Motorized bicycles, like the one pictured below, will not be allowed in the Kingdom of Eric Parker. In the Kingdom, we will be a people conscious of our energy usage, and we will know it’s an oxymoron to burn fuel on a machine designed to burn only human fat. We will also understand the complexities of the oil markets, that oil is a finite resource and that burning it causes greenhouse gases in the atmosphere, which are needed in small amounts in order for humans to exist on earth without ice covering everything, but bad in large amounts because they cause global warming; whereas, human fat is always renewable. And we won’t want to give our money to dictators or cause civil wars because of our energy usage. We will prefer to give our money to ice cream and beer vendors and bicycle shops.
If you install a motor on your bicycle, or even if you’re found disassembling a small motor, say an unused lawnmower (whose use has been banned––push mowers allowed only in areas where lawn grows without elaborate sprinkler systems) with the intent of mounting that motor on a bicycle, you will be thrown in the movie mouse trap (see this post) where we will be safe knowing you will remain for eternity––eating popcorn and drinking Cokes, building human fat––because you are stupid and make poor decisions.
